Waiting

Remember this post.

Yeah, the one where I mention that Joseph hadn't really grown since his last endo visit. I was supposed to bring him in within a month for a first-thing-in-the-morning blood draw.

Well, I finally did it. Last week.

Why the hell did it take me so long? Me. The woman who tries desperately to be proactive in all of this. Who refuses to be blind-sided again.

I was scared.

There, I said it. Scared. Just waiting until the outer edge of that timeframe to have those tests done. Because, damn it, if there's something else going on I just don't know if I can handle it.

I don't know if he can.

So what's been going on? Well, we enjoyed the holidays.

And Joseph returned to school energized: playing soccer at recess; reading like a fiend for the school's upcoming "Book Bowl"; winning the first chess-club tournament; practicing cello every night; and beating his new Lego Star Wars video game.

While I've been hiding out from those tests and what they might say.

Did I mention that Joseph looks thinner to me? His collar bone more prominent?

That's how I knew before. When he became diabetic.

Maybe it is just the high sugars from a couple months back. He's had a lot of those more recently, too. Maybe it's just that "leveling off" that comes on the cusp of puberty -- as his endo suggested.

Maybe not.

Regardless, today I know his endo has the results on her desk -- waiting for her interpretation. That's what they told me yesterday when I called in a panic because it had been a week-- and nothing.

They told me that one of the tests took much longer than the rest, but it was now in there. Just sitting on her desk.

So today, we wait.