Friday, January 27, 2006


There it is. The clinic’s number on caller ID.



“Yes?” I say. Breath held. Heart pounding.

“It’s Dr. Connor. Everything came back just fine– perfect, in fact. These are the kind of test results I like to see sitting on my desk.”

For a couple of seconds I can’t speak.

And then, a barely audible “thank you” is all that comes out.

“Now," the doc goes on, “the fact that Joseph is so slim, just probably means he’s going to be a slim guy. Really, Sandra, you have nothing to worry about. You all are doing a beautiful job.

I hang up the phone, sit down, place my hands over my face, and cry.

Harder than I have in months.


Jamie said...

WHEW!!! Thank you for letting us know how everything turned out! I'm just about to go offline and thought "I better check, just one more time - and RELIEF!"


And hugs to you. Like the doc said - You're doing a terrific job :)

Kassie said...


But, dude, I totally told you so ;)
(what a great time to be right!)


Teresa Kilroy said...


Ellen said...


Why do we mothers do that anticipatory grieving thing?

Megan said...

YAY!!! Congrats on a healthy son.

Vivian said...

I am absolutely thrilled for you and Joseph. Thank you for sharing, we really need to be here for each other in these moments.
(As much as we can be in virtual reality) =)

Kerri. said...

Wipe your tears, my friend. Everything is okay.

I'm so glad you and Joseph are sleeping soundly tonight.

Penny said...

I'm crying with you, Sandra. I'm sooooo glad everything was OK.

Allison said...

You rock.

The end.

Nicole P said...

Oh, Sandra, that's the best piece of news I've gotten all day. Thank you.

Jess Riley said...

Hi Sandra, I stumbled upon your site during some marathon procrasination / websurfing, and I wanted to say hello to a fellow Wisconsinite (and also congratulations on your good news!) Also, I have a young cousin who was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at age 2...he's doing great at age 10 now. Smart, funny kid. :)

julia said...

Whoo! I'm glad to hear he's ok. That crying with relief thing can be a bit unnerving, but boy, it feels good.

Ellen - I think anticipatory grieving is done to prepare for the worst. I know I do it al the time - prepare for the worst and that way, nothing will surprise you. My husband hates that, but I can't help it. I'm one of those who's just glad there's a glass, nevermind if it's half full or half empty.

Sandra Miller said...

Thanks everyone.

For staying with me during a not-so-minor freak out.

Julia, I think you're absolutely right about the whole anticipatory grieving thing-- while I always hope for the best, I can never get my head out of that worst-case scenario.

Then afterward, when all is well, I just feel spent. And a little stupid for having been so worried-- vowing that next time it'll be different...

But really, knowing that it won't.

christy214 said...

I'm glad everything turned out OK.
You're doing an awesome job.
It's great to have that reassurance though, that everything is fine!

J said...

so glad for you good news :-)