This is the first moment in a week that I've been able to sit down and try to write something.
I'd like to say it's because we've been so busy that I haven't been able to carve out the time.
And that would be partly true.
But mostly, it's because it was just too hard.
The thought that my son might have to live with this thing for the rest of his life is unbearable (and probably the reason the previous post didn't make it to the blog immediately after I wrote it).
The way I cope is by trying to stay hopeful that a cure will come, but mostly by working hard to tamp down that horrible, aching fear that he won't see a cure in his lifetime.
After writing that entry -- opening this dialogue -- the tamping down has not been going well.
I just so desperately want to sit down with Joseph and Nicole -- with every last one of you -- and eat those damn tabs.
And then never, ever open another jar.
Sunday, September 03, 2006